There was some worry there for awhile. South Carolina Attorney General Alan Wilson (R) had it on good authority that over 900 corpses had risen from the dead to vote in the recent elections. This could only mean one thing.
No. Even scarier. Something that keeps GOP lawmakers awake at night. Something that keeps the blond robots at Fox News chattering their perfectly white, perfectly aligned teeth at the very mention of it.
Oh my, heavens yes. Nothing terrifies a Republican worse than the thought that someone who isn't supposed to vote actually voted. Because you know that fraudulent voters always vote for Democrats. Especially dead fraudulent voters.
But let's take a look at this list of 900 zombie voters that has the South Carolina AG quivering in his boots and making "Scooby Doo" fright sounds in his throat.
He wouldn't provide all 900 names. But according to a report on Think Progress Jan. 31, he did provide six. Six dead people who voted in the recent South Carolina election.
S.C. State Election Commission Executive Director Marci Andino took a good, close look at these dead people and determined... there were no dead voters among them.
One was an absentee ballot cast by a voter who then died before election day;
Another was the result of an error by a poll worker who mistakenly marked the voter as Samuel Ferguson, Jr. when the voter was in fact Samuel Ferguson, III;
Two were the result of stray marks on the voter registration list detected by the scanner - again, a clerical error;
The final two were the result of poll managers incorrectly marking the name of the voter in question instead of the voter listed either above or below on the list.
Will this satisfy the South Carolina attorney general? Or will he, like Republicans nationwide, continue to push for measures that make it even harder for living people (read that as "poor and middle class and elderly people) to vote, since they are the ones most likely to vote after dying? Or vote Democrat? Whichever?
After all. Zombie apocalypses are a frightening thing. But not as scary as a single fraudulent vote cast... for a Democrat.
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