An attacker's true identity is revealed in 'Emmerdale', a funeral takes place in 'EastEnders', and art mirrors life as a gangsta guns down a police officer in a new series of 'Law & Order UK'.
Mirrors is the operative word for the English version of Law & Order, because in real life it was a gangsta - Mark Duggan - who was gunned down by the pigs, or the Filth, or whatever appellation is currently in use in da hood. Come to think of it, maybe Mark Duggan wasn't such a gangsta after all, we may find out when the IPCC produces its whitewash report next April. In this new series though, the first episode continues on from the last series as a man who shot a police officer in broad daylight is brought to book. There could be a subliminal message here from one of the scriptwriters, or maybe it is just coincidence. Whatever, don't watch this series unless you have a liking for improbable plots, even more improbable scripts, and a bad case of insomnia.
Up north in Coronation Street, another police officer has been found out, the psychotic girlfriend of local grease monkey Tyrone - he's the friendly one as opposed to his womanising partner, who is in a dudgeon at the moment as his estranged wife falls for - or throws herself at - the rapist of Carla Connor. Not that Carla isn't averse to a bit of illicit sex as long as it's consensual, though she will soon have some explaining to do to the wife of the local bookmaker and fellow alcoholic as he is found out by his mother-in-law.
Things are fairly quiet in EastEnders at the moment, probably because the funeral of one of the soap's longest running characters is taking place; Pat, the tart with a heart, has been diagnosed with cancer that has metastised to her vital organs, and bows out in double quick time. Not that tarts are ever in short supply here, there is Mandy for a start, who judging by the vintage and tastes of the others is the best of a bad bunch. There is shortly to be more trouble ahead for Phil Mitchell though, both from those who enforce the law and those who live outside it.
Which brings us to Emmerdale. In the Bible, Cain slew his brother; in this fictional hamlet, Cain had his head bashed in by his father and then accused the local sweet factory owner of the dastardly deed. Out on bail for attempted murder, you'd think he'd know better than to waylay Cain, kick his crutch from under him and then tread on his injured leg. Cain bears the torture with grim resignation. Could this be omertà, or does he have something more dastardly up his sleeve? Maybe the answer lies in the ratings war?
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