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article imageBlood on the snow in the soaps this Christmas

By Alexander Baron     Dec 17, 2011 in Entertainment
An explosion, a fire, and a man lying in his hospital bed while his attacker and potential killer is still at large. The ratings war always heats up at Christmas in Britain's soaps.
The biggest ever Christmas Day TV audience in the UK was for EastEnders, 1986, when the landlord of the Queen Victoria gave his wife a present she would never forget. And here it is. The landlord in question was the evil Dennis Watts, the man who was murdered by a hit man on the bank of the local canal, and after his resurrection was murdered again by his second wife and buried under his pub. Before his body was dug up (quite dead this time) by the police after his demise came to light.
Will there be a murder in Albert Square this Christmas? Possibly, or possibly something spectacular, or something spectacular and a murder. Having remarried her first husband after being divorced by her second - with whom she has two adult sons and a baby - matriarch Zainab - realises she has made a terrible mistake. This realisation finally comes about when the evil Dr Khan suggests they leave for Pakistani without her young son. We can get rid of the boy, were his exact words. What kind of dumb doctor doesn't realise the strongest love in the world is that of a mother for her infant child? In anger, Zainab slaps his face, so what does a true screen villain do? Slap her back twice as hard, of course. Only then does the penny finally drop. On Friday night, Zainab managed to scrawl a note for her now ex-husband Masood, which she delivers but is lodged behind the door while he plays nookie with the sister of the not so Christian Christian, the butch queen who had destroyed the marriage of Zainab's black sheep elder son.
Will Masood return and save the day? Sound like it, but on Boxing Day we can expect a grand finale as Dr Evil becomes Dr Doom. All will be revealed after the Christmas turkey.
Talking of turkeys, David Platt over in Coronation Street may end up getting stuffed like one if the feud with local builder Owen escalates. There is also death in the street, two deaths rather, but as they are only embryos, a woman's right to choose and all that, what does it matter? Well, apparently if the evil Tracy Barlow chooses to keep her twins and then falls down the stairs, it does matter, but it was surely wicked of her to blame her fall on her love rival Becky, a rivalry which is set to end in flames. Or is it?
There is also a seasonal birth in Coronation Street, just in case you thought it was all doom and gloom.
All this makes Emmerdale and the doubts of vicar's wife Laurel look rather placid, but the damage has already been done here. In the Bible, Cain slew able; in Emmerdale, Cain was on the receiving end, and half the village was both able and willing. As he lies in his hospital bed, he is told it will be 18 months before he is in a fit state to go chasing after wayward teens and farmers' wives like he did before; actually, it was them who chased after him. Some men have that fatal fascination for women, or maybe some soap actors have obliging scriptwriters?
More about Coronation street, Eastenders, Emmerdale
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