(Note: Spoiler alert. The below recaps include news about Emmerdale, EastEnders and Coronation Street)
In the bucolic setting of Emmerdale
, a young girl is suffering from an incurable disease, so her parents decide to conceive a saviour sibling. The only problem is that they are both in relationships with other people, and can't stand the sight of each other into the bargain. At least unlike the local vicar they aren't having their faith tested, not his faith in the Man Upstairs but in the woman who shares his bed. Happily, wife Laurel has seen the light and terminated her affair with the local chef before it has begun, but will the Reverend Thomas believe her?
, the local salon owner being told she has the Big C goes off the rails and refuses treatment, much to the horror of her GP, the evil Dr Khan. Amazing isn't it that some people can be both thoroughly professional in their careers yet total monsters in their private lives? Or vice versa in the cases of Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin, and their fellow mass murderers George W. Bush and Bomber Blair. In the same soap, Phil Mitchell has just been reminded that many years ago he killed a man - just the one, and accidentally at that - but the problem is not so much his conscience as what appears to be a mystery blackmailer. Doubtless all will be revealed in due course.
Finally, over in Weatherfield
, a not so great Englishman is coming to terms with the death of his Great Dane as his sister is released from prison on bail, although still technically a convicted murderess
. Meanwhile, a schoolmaster takes his girlfriend out for a bit of UFO spotting. She doesn't know the difference between a SETI and a settee, but all is soon to be revealed as a flying saucer hovers in the near distance. Or so he thinks, but it turns out to be a couple of grease monkeys playing games with a vacuum cleaner and a fishing rod. As somebody once said, the real mysteries of this world are in people's heads, especially those of scriptwriters engaged in a perpetual ratings war.