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article imageOp-Ed: Yes, you’re a Neanderthal — Unless you’re African

By Paul Wallis     Jul 18, 2011 in Science
So much for racial superiority. Now even species superiority is looking pretty unlikely. Homo Sap has just discovered that all non-Africans carry Neanderthal X chromosomes.
It seems that our Homo Sap ancestors had good and close relations with the Neanderthals, who were a different human species. It’s understandable that the two species would form some sort of relationship. You know how it is when you’ve just beaten up a mammoth and you’re looking for a little fun. You go looking for someone to share an Ice Age with. You want to settle down and create a genetic demographic. You want to scare the academic papers out of palaeontologists and turn anthropologists into babbling wrecks with ambiguous information.
You hedonist, you.
It’s also been becoming progressively clearer that the Neanderthals were a lot more advanced socially and culturally than was originally believed. They left Africa before everyone else. They had larger brains than contemporary and modern humans (not entirely surprising) and somewhat different physiology.
For decades, the Neanderthals have been the dummies, the original cave people. Now they’re relatives. This finding is a vindication of something, mainly the idea that omniscience isn’t a very safe bet when talking about any kind of humans.
The social implications
It’ll be interesting to see what spin the Master Racists come up with about this one. Obviously it’s a conspiracy to put Masons in charge of hot dog stands around the world, or some sort of neo-socialist plot to overthrow antiquarian ideology-fondlers and force people to play backgammon. Or maybe it’s a Green communist plot to suggest that breathing oxygen instead of pollution is good for you.
For the Illuminazis, it’ll be a no-brainer. Their concept of life is that they’re superior to humans, so any sort of prehistoric incest will be considered more proof of their superiority. So when some deformed pile of manure offers you a chance to join a group, grab it. You’ll be able to claim a valid excuse for refusing any connection with the human race, like they do, and have a license to prattle on endlessly about the implications of irrelevant non-existent things.
Clearly, “chromosome superiority” is the only way to go. Except this finding applies to all non-African humans, including Australian aboriginals and Arctic people.
‘Course us aliens aren’t too fussed, are we? Have a nice genetic rethink, guys.
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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