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article imageStephen Colbert's Commencement speech brings down the house

By Brandon McPhail     Jun 18, 2011 in Entertainment
The 2,800 graduates of Northwestern University were treated to 20 minutes of Stephen Colbert at his best, as he delighted this year’s graduating class with a look back at some of the headline grabbing events over the past year at Northwestern.
Colbert's first report made reference to Professor John Michael Bailey’s demonstration of a motorized sex toy. The demonstration, in front of 120 students, was a part of the University’s Human Sexuality course and involved a naked woman being penetrated by a sex toy attached to a power saw, and brought to orgasm. The demonstration was defended by Northwestern, but the course will not be offered in the fall.
Colbert followed up with a reference to this year’s “Brothelgate” scandal. The scandal broke when the town of Evanston Illinois, where Northwestern University is located, started to enforce a city ordinance which prohibits more than three individuals who are not related, from living under the same roof. The town took the measure to reduce the density of the student population around the university in the hopes that it would rectify issues surrounding garbage, noise, and partying. The original law was enacted years ago to prevent brothels from establishing themselves in the town.
Colbert made light of Northwestern students' low sex drive, information he had gathered from a recent poll. He went on to say:
Evanston is riddled with brothels, oh ya, they’re out there, but thankfully this town is enforcing a centuries old city ordinance that prohibits more than 3 unrelated people from living together lest they reach critical mass and spontaneously prostitute themselves. I am all for this law, you cannot be too careful, in this economy running a brothel might be the most reliable work out there.
The comment was met with loud laughter from graduates and faculty alike. Colbert did however make sure to bring the audience back with the reminder that he was not there to talk about himself, he was there to inspire graduates by talking about himself. His next piece of wisdom took the form of what he would do if he could travel back in time and tell a younger version of himself to "break up with her idiot".
Colbert's self-depricating style of humour shone through as he compared himself to Secretary of State George Schultz, the commencement speaker at his own 1986 graduation. He attended Northwestern University and graduated in 1986, where he majored in Theater Arts.
Stephen Colbert is a popular talk show host who takes on a satirical ultra right-wing persona and can be seen weeknights on The Colbert Report.
More about Stephen colbert, The Colbert Report, Northwestern university
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