Wikileaks founder Julian Assange hacked into the broadcast of a televised MasterCard communication from his holding cell in a British jail on Saturday night - in a Saturday Night Live portrayal of the controversial whistleblower.
"This Monday I was arrested - proving that, for those who terrorize the United States, there's nowhere to hide," said SNL's Assange, played by Bill Hader. "America will find you and they will punish you - unless, of course, your name is Osama bin Laden."
Assange then savored a rich cup of tea before delving into the events that led to his arrest.
"Now, I was not arrested for terrorism but rather to be questioned on two rape charges," SNL's Assange explains. "It has long been Interpol's job to hunt down those accused of sexual misdeeds. Who could forget their month's long pursuit of Steeler's quarterback Ben Rothlisberger? Double standard, anyone?"
Assange's arrest has elevated media discussions
on the question of how the rape charges have been reported in America, and his detention in the UK has been criticized by Russia
However, SNL's Assange has a master plan. He rattles off his list of target sites in a master blueprint that is designed to take down detailed user experiences at Amazon, Facebook, Orbitz, Netflix, and Angry Birds. If he is held for a protracted period of time, the plan unfolds further to include porn sites.
"In conclusion, I want to remind you that no matter how I die - even if there was a suicide note - it was murder," SNL's Assange said. "Cheers."