Op-Ed: Las Vegas provides holographic dancing girls

Las Vegas - Well, it had to happen. Sim Sex meets “We’re too cheap to pay for dancers, we’ll get a megadollar value holographic thing instead”. This flutter into bogus entertainment is almost worthy of the music industry.

According to a press release issued by a company called Digital Illusions, Lolita's Cantina and Tequila Bar has become the first nightclub in the U.S. with holographic entertainment. Here's a video sample of what the virtual dancing girls look like. The club will allow guests to "enjoy custom holographic entertainment while eating, drinking or dancing," the company bumf reads. The DJ will then have control over high-definition holograms (read: virtual dancing girls) so blend audio and video into a mix. Las Vegas has always been known as the last word in good taste. The absolute last, as a matter of fact. The City of Excess has done one better this time, with some high tech, non-existent digital damsels stimulating the hard drives of people in the process of trying to go broke in a hurry. In fairness, the imagery is good, and somebody at Digital Illusions, the provider the Bogus Barroom Bolshoi obviously hasn’t gone blind yet. The skin, etc, for those wondering, is all good quality photo digitization, and it’s not that easy to look that good. The holo show runs at Lolita’s Cantina, and the place hasn’t even had time to get its site up and running yet. The problem, however, is with this concept described in the press release:

Ann DeVilbiss, Digital Illusions' owner and creative director, says, "This technology really will change business as usual in Las Vegas. Imagine having a library of hundreds or thousands of clips of entertainers, magicians, comedians, dancers ... well, the list goes on and on. Each one is ready to perform at a moment's notice. Each one is surrounded by special effects and magical appearances and disappearances. But most importantly, each one looks totally real. This is what is going to happen at Lolita's."

So instead of a collection of talented people, we can now have the anime version, which if arguably better equipped with personalities and far better personal hygiene than the average celebrity, sort of begs the question about where the creativity comes from. Are we going to have a Sims Sixties, where code writers and techs let it all hang out by proxy, or a sort of Renaissance of Rehash, as we have now, just easier to stick into a cupboard? What the world really needs, of course, is more unemployed creative people. It’s such fun, and the lack of ideas really does make kids more intelligent and highly motivated than consciousness ever could. With full digital development, a world of possible delights awaits. The ramifications are fabulous: · Nijinsky, the expansion pack · Fonteyn, now with scenario creator · Dali cheats · Blues Box- the authentic delta sound of a multicore drive · The complete Van Google · Impressionism, complete with pixel randomizer for passionate art · The new CAD version of jazz · The theatre- It’s like you’re actually there, but you can’t be · Sim Symphonies · Funny as a Java Upgrade- Great comedy for all the little subscribers · Pseudo-porn, with patches · The complete works of William Shakespreadsheet (including “Happlet”) Art is one of humanity’s few points of contact with its feelings. Holodance is a logical extension of technology, not art. Alas poor Yorich, I knew him when he was only a 64-bit gleam in an accountant’s eye.