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article imageDepartment of Defense receives 'bizarre' help from civilians

By Bob Gordon     Mar 16, 2010 in Politics
Last year the Pentagon spent $2 million to find out whether honey bees could be relied upon to sniff out roadside bombs. That is nothing compared to the suggestions that civilians offered.
The Department of Defense encourages concerned citizens to contact them through its web site. Today's issue of Stars And Stripes contains a hilarious selection of the most bizarre, paranoid and downright crazy suggestions the website received.
One suggestion, obviously in tune with the ideas of bees, honey and bears a la Winnie the Pooh suggested airborne bears be employed to sniff out Osama bin Laden. The suggestion gave careful consideration to many of the practical issues involved in this approach: “Overnight, Parachute some bears into areas [bin Laden] might be. Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing.”
Another armchair strategist suggested that the very weapons being used to make his life unpleasant could have a similar impact on enemies of the Union:
I still have people torturing my pelvis and lungs with dispersed sound waves and my eye and stomach, hip, pelvic region with other types of sound waves.... When the secret service came out they had a letter all prepared by my mother to force me on disability and not let me live with her and try to leave me penniless and homeless again.
Biblical concepts of civil defense were also offered. That contributor even freely offered his personal expertise:
Would there be time to construct a Noah’s Ark Biosphere in North America if there is an emerging Global War starting in the Middle East? I don’t know ... I only know that I have worked on such a project for many years now. Then after the period of ‘Hibernation’ people and materials would emerge to repopulate the Earth.
Another writer concerned by a disturbing dream he could only vaguely remember asked if the Pentagon could describe the disaster he had dreamed of and, of course, the Twin Towers/Pentagon attacks of 2001 also merited the attention of concerned citizens:
Has anyone at the Department [of] Defense noticed that the Twin Towers were destroyed on 9/11, and that when you dial emergency services in the USA you dial 911?” the person wrote. “If so, is this merely a coincidence?
More about Bizarre, Osama bin Laden, Defense
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