After creating the greatest television show about nothing with his iconic sitcom,
Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld has returned to television to bring us a show about something many of us can relate to with
The Marriage Ref. Although he doesn't act in
The Marriage Ref, which he describes as “a comedy about situations in reality,” Seinfeld is the producer of this revealing new comedy panel series about the unpredictable and hilarious institution commonly known as marriage.
In
The Marriage Ref, Seinfeld’s latest prime-time venture, married life takes center stage as disputes between real-life couples are revealed, examined -- and ultimately judged. At the center of the action and making “the call,” is popular comedian Tom Papa (
The Informant! The New Adventures of Old Christine). Papa, who was personally chosen by Seinfeld for this role. Papa serves as the actual Marriage Ref and has the final say in determining the victor of each spat.
The marital tiffs run the gamut of disagreements -- quirky, funny, relatable -- all with the signature Seinfeld tone. “After 10 years of marriage, I realized the comedic potential of this topic is quite rich. This is the way marriage should be; everybody needs a ref," Seinfeld said in press material for the show. "I wanted to bring the sports simplicity to your complicated, endlessly difficult personal life.”
The couples that present their problems and disputes (from trading sex for house cleaning and getting a Santa hat-wearing, five-foot iguana out of the house) are given a call by the Ref, just like in sports. Wife is right, husband is wrong. Wife wins the prize. Advising and influencing the Ref’s decision will be a rotating panel of “experts” comprised of top celebrities, comedians and sports stars – which, to date, has included such pop culture stars as singer/actress Madonna,
Curb Your Enthusiasm mastermind Larry David,
Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria-Parker and English comic genius Ricky Gervais) – who will weigh in and offer their own wit, wisdom and unique opinions. “Just like the rest of us, celebrities have to deal with the good and bad of relationships,” host Tom Papa explains. “The fact that these guys are celebrities, and they are offering up their opinions about marriage and love – always in a truthful and funny way – gives us a chance to get to know a little more about them as real people and makes their opinions even more special and interesting to hear.”
Just before taping another segment of
The Marriage Ref in New York, show host Tom Papa jumped on the phone for a conference call to discuss the upcoming season.
NBC
Panelists Larry David, Madonna & Ricky Gervais on "The Marriage Ref."
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“Well we’re always trying to put together a combination of people that we think is, Number One – going to be hilarious, and Number Two – is going to give us some good perspective and some opinions that you are not used to hearing from. I mean, to hear from Madonna and Larry David on the same panel with Ricky Gervais, you know you’re in funny territory right off the bat. And then you’re also going to see these people in ways that you've never seen them on regular talk shows. There’s like this thing when you go on
The Tonight Show, where it’s fun, but you’re kind of on your own, you’re talking about your projects. But here, you get to actually get into issues that people never see you talk about. So we’re really just looking for interesting and funny.”
How do you create an atmosphere where guest panelists like Eva Longoria-Parker feels it's okay to joke about shaving around her private area, which she did on an earlier episode? “Well, the whole tone of the show, which is something that we really are striving for, is it’s a celebration of marriage and it’s a fun comedy show. The couples that come on aren't victims. We’re not attacking anybody. There’s not a mean tone to the show, and we want the panelists to feel that way also. It’s just about having a good time. And you can come on, you can talk about your personal life if you want. If you don't, we’re not going to press you. We just want it to be a fun, safe environment for the panelists and for the couples that come on."
How are the married couples – that need the marriage advice – chosen?“The greatest part about all of this is that when you - we’re finding that when you do a show about married couples that have arguments, there’s an endless number of people out there. They are just everywhere. There’s like a whole process where we meet them in shopping malls and other places all around America, then we interview them. Then we go to their homes with a video camera and we try and capture it. And what we've really found is you have to capture that first fight right off the bat because that’s when married couples -- they've had these fights their entire relationship. They don't care who is watching. They don't care if it’s family, they don't care if they are out in the middle of the street, they are going to go. So we show up with our cameras ready to catch it.”
In addition to going to malls and doing surveys and that kind of thing, can couples call in or go to the internet site and apply? “Yes, go to nbc.com and we'd love to hear from you. We’re getting a lot of people who aren't saying they themselves want to be on, but maybe someone close to them, like, 'My uncle has to be on this. You have to talk to my friends.' There’s a whole bunch of people starting to come through nbc.com.”
NBC
Tom Papa, the host and 'ref' of "The Marriage Ref."
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“Yeah, people send us little videos of themselves. People just give us information and then we contact them and gather it. I mean really, if you are looking to do a show about married couples arguing, we've really -- you’re not going to run out of material.”
Tom, how did you become associated with Jerry Seinfeld? How did the idea for you to host the show come about? “When he was done with his show after a couple of years of whatever he was up to, he came back to New York to start working on his act again and getting back into stand-up, and I was in the clubs in New York doing my thing."
You are Jerry's opening act on the road. How long have you known him now?“It's been about nine years. We just met in the clubs. He saw me doing my thing, thought I was funny, and we started -- you know all of the guys that he came up with weren't in the clubs anymore, so we started hanging out with him, and Colin Quinn, and the three of us became really good friends. And then we started going on the road together, and performing, and then it just became this just great friendship. And we had all this common ground. We were both going through this marriage thing; we both loved stand-up comedy, and just really hit it off.”
So, did Jerry come up to you with the idea of The Marriage Ref, and go, “Hey, what do you think?" “Yeah, right after he had this argument with his wife and had a friend there that broke up the fight for him and acted as the marriage ref, he started pounding the idea out and was running it by me. And I mean we had this thing where whenever we were out on the road and we would start complaining about something that happened in our relationships, some kind of fight, the more miserable the other guy was, the happier the other one was. It just made us laugh. And then all of a sudden with this idea gelled, it was like, 'We could make a show about that.' We realized we were really onto something funny.”
Were you the natural choice to be the host? Did you and Jerry toy with the idea of other hosts? “No, I was always his choice. I mean, you know he really couldn't go with anyone else. What was he going to say?”
NBC
Panelist Madonna on "The Marriage Ref."
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“Well, one of my favorites is the guy who keeps his Harley Davidson in the living room and she’s got a problem with it. His wife wants to have company over and she can't do any of it because this giant Harley is sitting right smack in their living room.”
With somebody like Ricky Gervais on the show, who is not married, what kind of perspective does he bring?“Well, he’s been in a long-term relationship living with someone. And while we don't really count that as married -- because as you know, I've gone from living with someone to being married. It does definitely change. But his comic perspective is just so strong, we couldn't resist. We have certain people that we will make a slight exception for, but you've got to be really funny.”
Having people like Ricky Gervais, Madonna, and Larry David on the show – people who are really famous -- do they have the same types of problems as everybody else or are there’s a little different?“Everybody has the same problems. That’s the most hilarious thing. I mean, when we were coming up with the idea for the show and Jerry and I would hang out, I mean we couldn't be you know further apart from a comedian on his way up and a guy coming off one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And we got married around the same time. And when we would go on the road together and do stand-up gigs, we would just start complaining about things that were happening in our relationships, and we just started realizing they are exactly, exactly the same. It doesn't matter what level you are at. If you are married, you are dealing with the same stuff.”
Since the show is really centered on married couples, are you hearing from single people that are watching the show?“Yeah, it’s hilarious. I'm hearing so many people that are saying that their kids like it and that their parents like it, too. You know, it’s funny, as a stand-up comedian, this is what -- these are the jokes that I tell all the time. It’s all family based, and relationships, and marriage, and all of the insanity that goes with it. And I used to think when I was starting out that maybe I would have to change it if I was in front of younger people, but my act works. Those jokes work when I'm at the Laugh Factory at midnight in Hollywood or if I'm doing a corporate gig with all 60 year olds. Because it’s not really -- it’s really family more than it is just marriage. I mean, we all came from parents, we've all been humiliated by things that our parents have done. It’s really -- it’s a universal thing. It’s really just family and people living together. And from that, there’s so much tension that people of every age really kind of latch into.”
What is your pet peeve at home with your wife - your little tiff that’s always coming up over the years?“I have this thing I'm going through now where whenever I open up a book and start reading, my wife sees that as a giant neon sign that says, 'Let’s talk.' I don't know what it is. If it’s she thinks I'm giving too much attention to the book. I don't know what it is. The jealousy that she has for the printed word is driving me crazy. I'll even try and make it really obvious. I'll delay in my response to her. I will slowly put my finger down on the page as if I have to really kind of concentrate. 'I'm sorry. What did you say,' and still nothing. Although if she reads, there’s no problem. Then it’s quiet time. Women!”
How important is it to have your own area like the man cave, you know like your reading room, or whatever? “I have given that up. I think when it was just the two of us, you can kind of have that territory. Once kids enter the picture, forget it. My father had one little drawer in the kitchen and that’s all. Everything he owned and loved was stuffed into this one drawer and I always thought that was so bizarre. But now that I'm in that position, I realize if you can get a drawer, you've got more than enough.”
Back to the The Marriage Ref, what determines whether you take the panel’s advice or not? “I really try and get into it and kind of really figure it out. And it’s funny. I've had to reverse a couple of calls because they really convinced me and I thought I was kind of going one direction. And sometimes Natalie (Morales) also will throw a fact in that I didn't know that changes the whole perspective of the argument. So I try and keep it as fluid as I can. I try and judge it not just on the argument, but also on how people fight is a big thing with me. If you get a little too mean and a little too nasty even if you’re right, I have a hard time going for those people”
Natalie Morales, who is also on The Today Show, adds some real credibility to the proceedings. What kind of fact would she throw out that would sway your decision?“I don't want to give anything away, but there is one that you will see in the Larry David/Madonna show where I thought it was all cut and dry, and Natalie gave us a fact from deeper back in the relationship that someone had done something that changed everything. It changed the whole perspective on it, and I ended up having to flop the call.”
NBC
Jerry Seinfeld, producer of "The Marriage Ref."
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