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article imageOp-Ed: Angelina Jolie on Relationships

By R. C. Camphausen     Dec 24, 2009 in Lifestyle
Apparently, actress Angelina Jolie has spoken about her life with Brad Pitt and has said “I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship”. I agree with her, but many seem disturbed by it. Why?
The web is full of celebrity gossip I don’t usually read, because I neither care much about these people I don’t know; nor can one believe most of what is written. I got sucked in this time because it was Angelina Jolie who candidly spoke about fidelity and monogamy – a most interesting topic – and because she seems to have angered both the traditional media and the celebrity hype webpages.
The UK based Daily Mirror, for example, called the interview in which Jolie made the statement bizarre, and also included another article on the same day in which someone proclaims that the kids will – per definition – get into problems “if Mum or Dad start messing about away from home.”
Messing about? What a term!
It’s not messing about if you love – and perhaps make love to – another person than the one you’ve married and/or live with. It’s not messing about nor is it cheating or a secret sidestep . . . if two adults who love each other have agreed that both may do so.
So what’s the real problem here?
Angelina Jolie is – at this point in history – the best paid actress and the Number One influential celebrity according to Forbes/DIgital Journal – not to mention that she’s a very beautiful and desirable woman. So here’s the quandary as I see it. She’s an adored role model on the one hand, yet she’s said something most people don’t want to hear, can’t believe, are afraid of. The reason: because it is so honest and grown-up and spells trouble for all those who do not realize that monogamous simply means “married to one”, and that has little or nothing to do with fidelity.
The term monogamy stems from the Greek monos (one) and gamos (marriage), and it is only certain religions who have made us believe that marriage involves sexual exclusivity, a sort of mutual possession. Of course, if and when two people actually talk about this and agree to have no involvement with others … then infidelity may at some point rear up its ugly head.
However, if two adults know and trust each other, and both agree to give each other the gift of freedom to enjoy life in all possible ways … then there is no cheating and no infidelity, no harm to either partner nor to eventual children.
It is quite clear that this is what Angela Jolie had in mind, because she also said the following words:
“Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means to be chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other. It’s worse to leave your partner and talk badly about him afterwards.”
Another interesting point concerning the interview is that it was first published in a German magazine (DAS NEUE BLATT), although the Mirror makes no mention of that. (see Radar, one day before the Mirror).
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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