Op-Ed: Hobo Chic- Look poor, look fashionable

The fashion industry, famous for its endless social sensitivity and relevance, has unveiled its new look, Hobo Chic. A less than enthused audience of welfare societies is appalled. In the worst recession since 1929, it’s a reminder how crass people are.

The “Gee it’s great to be poor” message from Hobo Chic isn’t new. Not much in this area of fashion ever is. It started with “street” culture in the 70s, that authentic blend of middle class images and related ignorance. “Cool” is usually what somebody else says is cool. It was harmless enough until it became a recruiting process for gangs. This little effort, (and I do mean “little effort”, in any sense), however, has taken a heap of crap and made it a mountain. This is fashion design at its least, a pointless collection of scraps for sale to idiots. Add a few “celebrities”, and you’ve got the makings of a craze. Apparently a few of America’s Least Wanted have picked it up, and added their shallow little bits to the Hobo Chic Look. Interesting to think that millionaires are so intelligent and so receptive to the world's big issues. Accessories: Of course you have to accessorize. That’s what poverty is all about. Try a few fashionable diseases, like TB, Hepatitis, AIDs, or some of the other easily available novelties. Bullet wounds, malnutrition, skin conditions, and psychological disorders are apparently still optional. Shop around, kiddies. Rent an Overdraft: Popular among those who have made millions for inflicting people with their presence. Slums R Us; New upmarket business with a great future providing habitats for fashion designers who need these additions to their talents. Stenches: A range of designer stenches is findable, if you know where to look: Essence of Broke Pensioners Urinary infections a la Madison Avenue (certified not organic) Can’t Afford Cologne (Unisex, based on current trash collections) Recession Regurgitations (concentrate, for emergencies) Collectibles: Downloadable ready made lousy job interviews for slop bucket work (Now you can just email the interview to an employer, and don’t have to worry about showing up) Psychoanalysis tests with multiple choices of fashionable psychoses Complete trading card set of non existent celebrities with links to their work and philosophical texts Hobo Pregnancy Tests: Now with a stylish picture of a real poor person on each one. I’ve had people in the rag trade in the family for decades. One of my uncles was a designer in London, making clothes for the Flappers in the 30s. None of them used real rags, for some reason. Go to hell, you bastards.