Opinion: Obama, Gates, Crowley and the Quickest Beer Ever

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I only bring up this breaking news item (7/30@5:29AM EST) because it is directly related to the conversation we are all now having regarding Dr. Gates, all that has transpired since his arrest for disorderly conduct by Officer Crowley, and tonight's Three Amigos beer blast in the Oval Office on racial harmony and the terrible crime of profiling. The Number 3 honcho at Justice, Associate Attorney General Thomas J. Perrelli, was the person who approved the dismissal of all charges against the swaggering and even racist Black Panther poll watcher thugs in Philadelphia, who even intimidated white voters with statements like "You will soon be ruled by the black man, cracker!" Even with default convictions in hand. Career Justice lawyers wanted to skin them. Make an example. But no. Hmm, curious. Think about that, people. That video went viral. Who hasn't seen it? They were like the Klan in reverse! So those thugs get a pass and walk free after swinging batons, interfering with poll workers and making intimidating racist threats, even after being convicted by default. Unheard of at Justice. Not even banned from the polls! Too harsh a penalty? Are those thugs now more or less likely to do the same damn things the next time out? Yet we are all going to have a tall cold beer and hearty conversation on racial harmony (I'm guessing thirty seconds tops), and how white racial profiling experts in law enforcement like Sgt. Crowley can better interact with black Lefty Harvard egghead racemongers like Dr. Gates without it becoming a national racial conflagration. Good luck with that, Jim! What's wrong with this picture? Are we witnessing a regression of the law in favor of black radicals? Time for a REAL conversation on race in this country, don't you think? The greatest irony here, of course, is that Officer Crowley would be the perfect guy to explain to both Obama and Gates, at length and in detail, how to put out racial fires before they even start. Whattaya think? I say Sgt. Crowley's Gone In Sixty Seconds. A QUALIFIER: Should anyone believe that I am merely using this incident as a club to beat President Obama over the head with, you'd be 100% right. Because he absolutely should be beat over the head with it, and you'll soon find out why if you don't know already. But to make it absolutely clear that this isn't just righty ideological flamethrowing, I have staunchly defended the President in the past from those who hate him and question his legitimacy to hold office, and even praised him when I thought he was playing it smart. And all that's from a hardcore conservative Republican from Cambridge who detests nearly every policy move the President's made, okay? Oh, and if you're wondering how the hell there ever could be such a strange paradox of a creature as a hardcore Cambridge Righty, all you have to do is look at what hardcore Cambridge Lefties like Dr. Gates are doing. 'Nuff said? To even better prove my point, I called the Secret Service on a high tech security vulnerability I observed after Obama's election last November. I want nothing bad to happen to him. For better or worse, he is my President too. In this situation, worse. Much worse. Which is why I am fighting him without quarter on this issue. It's not politics. In fact, it's the politics that are the problem. Racial politics. And I am far from alone in speaking up in moral outrage on this race-baiting abomination of justice and staining of a hometown cop's stellar rep. This whole nationwide media and racial imbroglio never had to happen in the first place. Obama's taking sides only made the situation much worse. Curious. Did Obama see the police report before speaking? Come on! He probably had it in five minutes! He's the President of the United States! Gimme a break! Am I the only one doing real journalism around here? How about some tough questions at that beer-fueled Three Amigos Racial Harmony Hoedown and Photo Op? As opposed to, say, the usual bowing and likenings to godliness? No? Too much to ask? Zzz... Speaking of Z's, Michelle Malkin seems alone in reporting on the Get-Out-Of-Terrorizing-Voters-Free cards. HAPPY HOUR SET: Looks like HuffPo broke the Beer Blast RSVPs. Figures. They've got their heads so far up Obama's butt they can see daylight! Sorry. Thursday at 6:00 PM. White House. Black Tie. Invitation Only. Be there. I'll probably be crashing it from here. Like this. Will it be a full thirty-minute Brian Williams tour of racial profiling with the President in the White House? LOL! Ya, as if. I'm thinking more like during a 30-second commercial break. I'll take wagers in the comments section :) UPDATE: It appears the President has just lost voters from each from two key liberal Democratic constituencies: black men and women, who just happen to be Cambridge Police officers. Or is it the other way around? All this Lefty racial calculus these days is screwing me up! Anyway, it seems that the officers are very unhappy the President discriminated against people of color, i.e. blue. This story just keeps getting richer and curiouser, doesn't it? Bravo! On With The Man Show!

A POT O' GOLD: Here's a great Man Show opening - Dr. Gates is half-Irish! Top O' The Mornin' To Ya, Professor Skippy! Erin Go Bragh! He's even distantly related to Officer Crowley through the Niall of the Nine Hostages, the roots of which extend back nearly 1700 years in Ireland. An estimated three million worldwide. They're practically brothers. They should get along fine! Why not even throw in a boilermaker with Jameson? A little cultural exchange? OMG! What will his fellow Black Studies professors at Harvard think of THAT one? I'm thinking "Whitey! BWAAHAHAHA!" Can he ever show his face at Harvard again? And as to the brothers part, we all are. Even you sisters are brothers. Know what I mean, Jean? And I really hate it when people keep trying to tip that applecart! What should have been a simple case of mistaken identity on a 911 suspected B&E call, followed by thanks to the selfless heroes who took a risk even just looking in on him has become a racial inferno. That is the real tragedy here, people. It never had to happen. Sgt. Crowley is a Cambridge cop on the beat. Hey, I'm from there, okay? It's not Disneyworld. Very urban. Realize that Sgt. Crowley was responding to a 911 call on a suspected break-in. Happens all the time in Cambridge. He doesn't know what he's walking into in any given situation. This time it's Gates. Next time it could be a whacked-out junkie with a knife. This SO didn't have to happen. Given all the damning evidence since this story broke, I guess it all comes down to Professor Skippy and having to ask yourself why. MY HAPPY HOUR RECOMMENDATION: As you all now know, the Beer Drunk 'Round The World is slated for the White House at 6:00PM Thursday. More cameras than a Nikon factory, I'm betting. Quick one too, I'm betting even more, for reasons that will soon be all too clear. But I have a better recommendation for the President and Dr. Skippy Gates than the planned beer-fueled Oval Office hoedown on racial harmony. I just found out on Drudge that Officer Crowley took that famed call from the President at Tommy Doyle's Irish Pub in Kendall Square. So. Knowing what we now know about Professor Skippy's Irish heritage, President Obama's desire for healing over a cold one, and knowing what I know about Cambridge, I say the President and Dr. Gates should get into the trenches. Down a cold one in the neighborhood. Rub elbows. In fact, Officers, I was thinking that the small pub down by the Sherman Street railroad crossing would be perfect. Long established, yet gaudy. Like Cambridge itself. And I say that in the best possible way, okay? As to that pub, the name of which escapes me at the moment, you Cambridge officers know which one I'm talking about. It can get real dark there. Not all lit up like Doyle's Place in Kendall. You really can't see anything. People like Skip trip and fall there all the time. Though you should try to help him if he does fall ;-) Welcome to Cambridge. On With The Show! As if it all hasn't been juicy enough. Rack 'Em Up, Bartender! AUTHOR'S FOOTNOTE: Because of all the updates, you'll encounter a number of duplicate talking points. I was going to edit them out, but then thought that maybe saying the same thing in different ways might not be a bad thing here. First up, a brilliant summary of this sad Gates situation from Andrew Breitbart:

And that is why the Case of Sergeant Crowley vs. Professor Gates is so important. As is expected from professional race baiters, Mr. Gates instigated a public brouhaha over race. And Mr. Obama, a man who attended the Rev. Jeremiah Wright's racist sermons for 20 years, used the bully pulpit to grant his friend a national platform to condemn a man for doing his job.

Sgt. Crowley, a proud and defiant public professional, played the moment perfectly and stopped his own assassination by media. Talk about a postmodern hero. Whether he likes it or not, Sgt. Crowley is a potent symbol of how the union has managed to become more perfect, a Rosa Parks of rush-to-judgment "reverse racism."

Now that the facts of the case show that his friend the professor was the man doing the racial profiling, the president wants to end the discussion. Now we see what the attorney general meant when he spoke of cowards.

At the time that I write this (7/29@6:32AM EST), the following Google search of 'Obama Gates Crowley' turned up 4,330,000 hits, many very hopeful, with expectations of racial healing over a tall cool Budweiser. Typical, from Harvard Business Publishing Online of all places (surprise, surprise), is this rank equivocation: "Obama, Gates, Crowley, and the Baggage We Each Carry"

The recent arrest of a distinguished black professor in Cambridge and President Obama's subsequent comments about it illustrate the powerful ways our personal experiences shape our actions and reactions.

I can imagine that, whatever happened during the incident itself, for Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., it triggered memories of a lifetime of humiliating, painful events. He was returning from a long trip, probably tired, stressed. His reaction undoubtedly sprang from the baggage that is his life experiences.

I found the single most interesting statement from President Obama's press conference not the one that's gotten all the attention (about the police acting "stupidly,") but rather his preceding comment that "any of us would be pretty angry."

It's not even worthy of rebuttal. But I must. Perhaps it is The Force that compels me. Or maybe just that "disregard for whatever happened" comment. Doesn't get much more equivocating than that. Or how about just proving your identity right off, then thanking the responding law officers for looking out for your life and property? Instead of, say, looking to turn the situation into an ideologically-motivated racial conflagration? You know something, Dear Readers and Fine Fellow Americans Everywhere, I can imagine Officer Crowley is feeling pretty "low and angry" about "humiliating and painful events" right now. Like the foul staining of his stellar reputation not only as a police officer, but as one of the most knowledgeable and unbiased experts in the entire state on the subject of race. Training the next generation of local lawmen on the subject, even. In fact, Sgt. Crowley is so knowledgeable on the subject of racism and racial profiling, he could even give seminars in the Oval Office for days on end to the Enabler-in-Chief and his unsavory BFF, the arrogant Al Sharpton-like Lefty Harvard Egghead Professor Skippy Gates. Show them how to put out racial fires before they even start. As opposed to say, walking around with gas cans and matches looking for blazes to set. Ask the Duke Lacrosse team on that one! Actually, do you really even have to? Fun Fact! Ninety percent of the Black Studies professors were part of the Gang of 88 at Duke that signed onto that infamously premature Declaration of Guilt. Hmm. Curious. Well, maybe not so much. I'm not impugning Black Studies, mind you. I'm just sayin'. It doesn't look good. Here's another Fun Fact! Dr. Gates lives in a city with a black mayor, a state with a black governor and a country with a black President. How good can you have it? There's just no pleasing some people, I guess. To continue, Sgt. Crowley could explain to Obama why equivocating it all isn't a good thing. Hell, he's the President! He probably saw the police reports within five minutes of them being filed! Are you kidding me? Officer Crowley could also explain in detail to the President what was so terribly wrong about squeezing career lawyers at Justice, who sought to skin the swaggering and even racist Philadelphia Black Panther poll watcher thugs, into dropping the charges even with default convictions. That's unheard of at Justice. What if President Bush had given that same slap on the wrist to three Klan poll watchers who did the same damn things? Hell, LibDem Lefties would be screaming for his impeachment! And rightfully so, for once. Does not the law apply to all? Or are we seeing a regression in favor of black radicals, Mister President? Isn't the only color that really matters in America blue, i.e. the law? By which every American citizen is judged by their acts in violation of those laws and not held collectively suspect or overly favored? Isn't that the very thing you promised to put an end to in Philadelphia last year, Sir? That Justice is Blind? Or is it only in one eye now? I'd ask those questions. If Officer Crowley sees this post and would like to ask them as well, he has carte blanche with any of my suggested topics of discussion. All of my posts, really. But I can guaran-damn-tee you, unless something compels the President and Dr. Gates into not downing those beers in record time to dodge that conversation (like my bringing attention to duration here, LOL!) those two are gonna be pissing like racehorses thirty seconds after Officer Crowley is kindly escorted out by Secret Service agents, who will probably whisper to Officer Crowley on his way out: "Don't mind him." See, the big 800-pound gorilla in the room here is the kind of racial gas can politics of Wright, Sharpton, Farrakhan, Jackson and now Gates. Notice that the honoraries are missing? Screw that! I'll go all the way! You want REAL racial harmony in this country? Getting rid of those five would be a very good start! And the President doesn't help the cause of racial harmony in this country any by taking sides in an unresolved and controversial matter of law enforcement with heavy racial overtones. He doesn't know what happened. Only the people on the scene do. Unless, of course, the President saw the official report Officer Figueroa filed and chose sides anyway, the truth be damned. Don't expect Helen Thomas, Brian Williams or Chris Matthews to ask Obama THAT question! By the way, I knew Dr. Gates was crying wolf from the start. Soon as I heard about it. See, I was arrested on that same charge of disorderly conduct by CPD not five blocks from Dr. Gates' house some years back. Black CPD officer. I'm white. Spent the night in the same jail Gates was booked in. Who could have a better fly-on-the-wall point of view? Or picture it all and judge the reality of what happened better than I? By my having had that same exact experience, in that same exact neighborhood, with those same exact police, I can see it all crystal clear. CPD puts rowdies in stir all the time. I was one of 'em. Gates is nothing special to them. He's Order of the Day! Known those cops all my life. Honorable bunch, even though they chased my punk projects friends and I around a lot. It was usually for very good reason, like the time my friend drove a stolen a car into the North Cambridge MDC pool. I'm not an equivocator. Unlike some people. And I'll be damned if I allow even the President of the United States, never mind some educated-light-years-past-common-sense black Lefty racemonger from Harvard, to slander their good names! Not without a fight! Our turn To Protect and Serve. But I say a very quick White House photo op and even quicker beer to dodge that much larger and long-awaited real conversation on race. Vis-a-vis racial profiling, Officer Crowley is the Terminator and they're Sarah Connors. And none of us would like to be Sarah Connor trapped in a room in that situation now, would we? I will speculate that our Enabler-in-Chief and the Good Professor Skippy Gates will spend a lot more time together than with Sgt. Crowley, most likely commiserating about The One That Got Away. My disorderly conduct arrest by CPD was righteous. I was being a drunken punk in a bad situation of my brother's making and yelled to the black cop, "Your Mama!" Strangely enough, the last words that the Good Professor Skippy Gates was reported to have shouted to Officer Crowley before his arrest were, "I'll speak to your Mama outside!" Word of advice, people. If encountering a CPD officer in a tense situation, do NOT bring up their Mamas! I believe that, given both my own and Dr. Gates' experiences, race is not a factor. Never was, really. And that's the real crime here. I sure would like to see somebody prosecuted for that egregious offense. You know. The tarnishing and rape of Officer Crowley's professional reputation as a fair, honest and unbiased lawman? Do you think President Obama and Dr. Gates will give all that back to Officer Crowley over a tall cool one? Hell, they won't even hardly have time enough for a beer, I'm betting! Now I know Officer Crowley won't do it because he's too much of a stand-up guy, and most likely would be ecstatic never to hear the name of Professor Skippy Gates again. I'll bet he runs into belligerent morons like Dr. Gates and myself every day. But if it were me? I would sue Dr. Gates for defamation of character. Big Time. For the maximum allowable damages under the law. Set an example at long last. Come on! Gates screaming to the skies that one of the state's top racial profiling instructors for law enforcement is a racist? A black cop onscene calling it a righteous arrest? That's a slam dunk! Easy Money! Ka-CHING! You got all that, Jim ;-) Dr. Gates should pay a stiff price for his bogus racial cry of rape. At best, such action might even put the all-too-profitable and politically powerful cottage industry of black Lefty racial grievance-mongering in America out of business once and for all. If we were real lucky. Then maybe, just maybe, we Americans can finally start building that Sears Tower of Racial Harmony we all dream of, and which President Obama promised to build in Philadelphia last year in what now seems to be blackly comic fashion, without wolf-criers and racial arsonists like Gates and Sharpton trying to burn the place down every five minutes. Even worse, this kind of racial wolf-crying demeans the very real crime and victims of violent racism of all races, colors and creeds, and of which I am also a victim. At both knife and gunpoint in Cambridge and Boston. Only they were black and I was white. Hate couldn't be more Equal Opportunity, okay? But I do not hate or blame all black people for the actions of a few racist punks. I blame the punks! Just like some black people get it from white punks, even worse from illegal Mexican gangs in L.A. that are terrorizing and killing black Americans right now in what is being called ethnic cleansing. And that's not me. That's the SPLC. Where's THAT conversation, Mister President? Lot bigger problem than some wolf-crying racist Lefty egghead from Hahvahd, methinks! This Gates business ain't racism. It's a slander and a false cry of racial rape against Officer Crowley born out of Lefty ideological opportunism, in my opinion. Look at the facts that have broken in this story since. Am I wrong? I believe Gates saw a white police officer and a golden opportunity to go to the Head Of The Class on white-on-black racial grievance-mongering. The Poster Boy, if you will. He'd be doing the aggrieved black man college circuit for years! Just think of all those honoraria! Juicy stuff! In the money! Hundreds of white guilt liberal lefties worshipping at his feet in contrition and total self-abasement! Does it get any better? Get the picture now? That's Sharpton's playbook to a tee. Bet they won't be having THAT conversation over cold ones in the Oval Office, that's for sure! Lastly, could Crowley sue the President too? Hypothetically speaking? Given all the negative public ramifications of his words and actions in this matter? More curious than serious. A What If. You know. Like SNL: "What If Superman were Born in Nazi Germany?" How about some input from lawyers who would LOVE to jump on that one? Oh, and by the way, if you want all the real skinny and deep background on this abomination of the kind that Anderson Cooper thought was so interview-worthy, the Chicago Tribune linked, and the Cambridge Chronicle requested to reprint, I'm right here at Digital Journal. Dig in! Just know that most of it isn't very tasty. Like a cold Bud, say. But it's all been a rather unsavory affair from hot start to frosty finish, hasn't it? Cheers!