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article imageOp-Ed: …And there cameth to passeth an XP mode on Windows 7, sorta kinda

By Paul Wallis     Apr 27, 2009 in Technology
Breaketh openeth the bubbly and starteth cavorting witheth nymphseth, someone’s decided to do “virtual XP” in Windows 7. It’s only take a few years of howling from the global PC market, but it hath cometh to passeth.
This entirely unexpected outbreak of sanity is going to be much appreciated by those of us hut dwelling persons who thought that the Gods of Snide were going to deliver unto us yet again a dose of the cosmic chicken feces.
O yea verily doth we expecteth this, and doth we stockpile invective and possibly nuclear weapons whereunto give pithy comment.
Which leaveth us with a quandary, not shallow nor mild: Howeth doth anyone gotteth something right?
Whatteth hatheth goneth wrongeth?
Hath a light been left on in the belfry of the Microsoft broom closet? Hath He the Gates returneth? Hath Ye Mystic Sales Figures cast such omens as to bruise the turnip like souls of Ye Marketing Things In Wherever They Cometh From?
But, good toilers amid the impossible… Let us not casteth sleazebags or foul oaths upon the waters yet so un-be-scummed.
Is it not possible that Reason hath double parked her jalopy in the car park of Microsoft consciousness, and hath gone out for a few years in the course of finding a spot?
Do not even software developers grow bleary of eye and short of wit in Ye Olde Hit The Commercial App Piñata Tournament?
Is it not possible that the Great Thematic Diaper of Despair might one day be changed, leading to installing things worth calling operating systems?
Might not a simple “click”, innocent of guile, yet productive perhaps even of subroutines marvelous and whimsy, produce a result?
Could it be, in the wild abandon of virile use of electricity, that some person may one day turn on their computer without recourse to a lifetime of counseling and membership of secret cults?
For piteous were the cries of the benighted users, struggling amid their bottomless horrors, gnawing their keypads and beseeching Edison to change his mind and avoid all thoughts of switches and other depravities.
Yet now, cometh a remarkable advent of that which was already here, to save something which was not.
I’ve always thought the word “hyperbole” didn’t do justice to the concept of “hyperbola”…
Of course, I could be guessing…
This opinion article was written by an independent writer. The opinions and views expressed herein are those of the author and are not necessarily intended to reflect those of
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