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article imageIs the Toilet Seat Controversy Finally Over?

By Carol Forsloff     Dec 14, 2008 in Lifestyle
The debate is over about whether a guy should leave the toilet seat up or put it down after finishing personal business. So much of the Western world can relax now that the facts are in.
The debate is over about whether a guy should leave the toilet seat up or put it down after finishing personal business. So much of the Western world can relax now that the facts are in. The truth is that toilet seats should be left up, according to research. If the female in the family complains, then she should be asked if she’d like to hear her man scream in the middle of the night because private parts got pinched. Likely not, so there’s no reason for any couple to fight about whether to leave the seat up or down. Scientists say men take a risk when the toilet seat is down. All you women need to listen up to this. When your hubby, brother, father or fellow friend leaves the toilet seat up, and you demand it be put down; you might want to hesitate if you don’t want to see your man injured.
Leaving the toilet seat up is true mostly for toilets in the United States because the Chinese have thought this through. They don’t have seat covers in the first place in their public toilets, so that business about leaving it up or down doesn’t matter over there. Places in France had it made before the Americans took over the toilet business in some areas, so that French now have the type with lids; so likely the debate about toilets is the same as it is in the United States now and likely most of the rest of the Western world, in order to satisfy American issues about beauty and comfort.
A group of researchers at Leighton Hospital, Crewe, in England have given the guys the best news about this, winning the argument for the poor fellows who have debated this business about toilet seats for years. It just so happens that Dr. Joe Philip and his colleagues have been studying the problem, a worthy effort for sure, and have detailed reports on four young boys who had to be hospitalized because some toilet seat left up hit them on their penises and caused them to have injuries bad enough that they actually had to be hospitalized. Now that hurts. Who wants to control population by subjecting half the participants involved in the growth of it to unnecessary risks?
Part of the problem is that toilet seats are getting fancier. Haven’t any of you craved some ornamental throne yourself? Turns out that would be a dangerous thing to the little fellows in your house or the big boys who would do more squawking than squealing after a toilet seat with fancy curves and edges came right down where it would hurt the guys the most.
The problem about toilet seats and the injuries they can cause has been elegantly detailed in Science Daily for the edification of us all. First the scientists maintain that heavier toilet seats shouldn’t be used in the first place, all seats should be left up when there are male infants around, boys should be trained to leave the seat up, and little male fellows should be trained to hold their private part in one hand and the toilet seat in the other while doing their thing.
But this is far too much information when a simple warning should suffice; just leave the seat up like those wise guys that didn’t need some scientist tell them what was right.
Their mamas may have said “Put that seat down when you’re finished,” but they are here to show and tell now to prove that mama was wrong about that.
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