Op-Ed: Why I Voted 'No' on 8

I voted "no" on prop 8. Many people I know voted "yes". It has been a divisive issue in California with much protest and sign waving. This is why I went against the grain of my friends.

I voted "No" on Proposition 8. I voted mostly for political reasons, despite my faith and my partners in faith. I don't think that many people who vote "yes" on 8 are gay-bashers. I just think that some are misunderstood and others need to examine the log in their eye before they try to remove the splinter from their friend's. I believe that marriage is sacred. Marriage is a beautiful union between two people who love each other and wish to spend the rest of their lives together and be known as a couple. Marriage is not intended to be temporary. Marriage is not a contract full of clauses. Marriage is marriage. For legal purposes, though, people who get married and want it recognized by law must file a marriage license. This has nothing to do with the heart. This has to do with social responsibilities. Paying taxes, child care, credit for home ownership, etc. That's where the law steps in. Should a marriage dissolve, there has to be a legal way to resolve a separation of property and custodial rights of children. Those who say "yes" to 8 say that California should define marriage as between man and a woman. The real question is why? Here are some of the battle points. "Protect your children". From what, exactly? Supporters of 8 say that their children will be "forced" to learn that marriage is between two persons and not a man and a woman, starting in kindergarten. I don't think Prop 8 will stop the discussion if there is one. And the last I checked, you have the willing right to take your kids out of school on days there are lessons that you don't agree with. If your kindergartner misses school on marriage day, then so be it. But I can almost guarantee he's going to learn a whole lot more dangerous things on the playground beyond same-sex marriage. Just ask any 1st grader, 2nd grader, 3rd grader, etc. There are prop 8 commercials that talk about children were taken to see a wedding between their teacher and her girlfriend. It was described as a teachable moment. That commercial makes it sound like kids were chained to the bus, screaming and crying "please don't let me see lesbians kiss!" But they weren't, as evidenced from the pictures here. If my kid goes on a field trip, I know about it. I sign a permission slip. I give the teachers permission to take my children where they want. Assuming we have responsible parents who knew what was up, it was a choice. Protect Marriage. Protecting marriage starts at home, not through legislation. When no-fault divorces are at single-digit rates, when divorces are in single-digit rates, when child custody laws are fair between mothers and fathers, then we are protecting something. But right now, divorce rates for the FIRST marriage is hovering around 40%. And we're just talking divorce. We're not talking about marriages of convenience, unhappy marriages, forced marriages. It starts at home. If you want to protect marriage, start in your own house and teach your children through examples of what marriage means. If you have problems with your wife or husband but you spend 8 hours a day putting "yes on 8" signs in your lawn, then you're wasting your time in my eyes. Oh, and for the "holier than thou"? Here is a quote from a study conducted on Christian marriages: George Barna, president and founder of Barna Research Group, commented:

"While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing. But the research also raises questions regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families. The ultimate responsibility for a marriage belongs to the husband and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the Christian community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing support for marriages."

It Goes Against God's Word. And here is where even I have issues. It all boils down to who you consider to be homosexual and who you consider to be perverse. In Leviticus, homosexual acts are considered abhorrent. That's the Old Testament. In the New Testament, it is said to be the same. But Jesus had something to say about Eunuchs.

8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage[c]because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Eunuchs who were BORN THAT WAY? People who were born with no sexual wants towards a woman? There are studies that say homosexuals are born that way. How do you condemn someone who is born a certain way? How do you condemn ANY of God's creations? From here, I can't say either way that two homosexuals getting married is against God's word. Clearly God didn't intend for there to be a complete balance of heterosexuality vs. homosexuality no more than there are an equal number of races. God doesn't make mistakes. I've met too many people in my life that are gay and have been gay literally since birth and they aren't perverts. I'd trust them to watch my kids than some straight people I know, straight people I used to go to church with. There are people who have homosexual relationships for experimental purposes and not for love desires that I don't agree with. There are straight people who have straight relationships for experimental desires that I don't agree with. But for the sake of argument let's say that homosexuality is a sin. Is it any more or less sin in God's eyes? If we must create a law around it, then it should be a sin that causes harm to others like murder (not killing, but murder) or child abuse. And the last I checked, murder and child abuse aren't limited to gays. And that is why I voted "no" on 8. Until us Christians can be better examples of marriage, until we can prove that God doesn't love homosexuals and hates them so much we can't let them get married, I don't think we should approve a law that eliminates that right. If I don't want my kids to learn something from school, I'll teach them myself.