So there’s a picture of the Montauk Monster. I don’t make a habit of helping publicize fratbrain stunts. However, the Montauk Monster thing is interesting on a few levels. It’s from someone who’s gone a chug too far, or a viral marketing scam, etc
What it’s probably not is real.
However- this thing is so butt ugly that as a picture of an idea it’s interesting. The thing looks like a skinned pig with a beak. Do a bit of cosmetic work on the trotters, and a prosthesis, you get a monster.
Have a look at the pic on the
Daily Telegraph article, and you can see an ear, more or less, which could be quite a giveaway to an anatomist.
The conspiracy theories, of course, are quite busy. US government plot, obviously. Any damn thing can apparently be a US government plot, some people simply will not think of any other possible option.
Mutant being created by mad scientists following some secret agenda?
Dumb scientists would be a better description. What use would something like this be, except maybe to help people lose weight by vomiting?
Or maybe they were trying to invent a better can opener.
Now the cultural question: Would anyone produce a thing like this?
The answer, unfortunately, is yes, if they knew how.
Some years ago, someone was arrested for attempting to produce a hybrid rat/human. So much for intelligence as the only force in science.
A sort of genetic freak show, as a matter of fact, wouldn’t be too hard to produce. Just play around and see what happens. Might sound a bit spoilt-brattish, or just plain playing God, but there’s no real obstacle to people trying to do things like that.
Natural mutants can be pretty weird. Arguably, natural selection is all about better mutations for survival.
Unnatural selection, however, is all about egos. The freak-maker would be someone who couldn’t produce anything that wasn’t a freak. So the “science” would have to be about producing steadily freakier things.
Ask any four year old, or media psychologist. It’s all about peer groups, as far as they know.
Which leaves us with an issue:
Is this what all our science is for, if this useless thing is real? A pointless animal, no benefit to anyone?
I don’t think the thing is real. Real monsters aren’t likely to wear things on their “wrists”, unless someone’s trying to cover up a graft, or some other giveaway.
How did it die? Perhaps its watch wasn’t working, and it was late for an appointment, and missed the bus?
Why does it have herbivore teeth? If I saw those teeth on their own, I’d say they were from a sheep.
That’s not the body of a predator. Short stubby legs, no power? What does it hunt, Big Macs?
As a mutated commuter, it might make some sense. Anything else, forget it.
Suggestion, clowns: Have some respect for life, or it won’t have any for you.
