Going For A Facial? Just Order The Bird Crap Wrap

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Geisha's are known or their porcelain white skin, although created by a heavy layer of white make-up. But ancient secret has it that nightingale excrement is the secret formula to removing the paste and maintaining that youthful glow.

For just over $200, a customer can have their face treated with bird poop, its as simple as that! Of course, this poop is bacteria free, according to the news article quote:

The exotic excrement comes in a powder form, directly from Japan, and is sterilized with UV light to kill bacteria. And while there is an odor - Bernstein says it smells like "hay" or "like outside" - it's not the kind you would expect.

With Japanese women having such beautiful skin, would it be safe to say they all rub bird dropping cream on their face at night before going to bed? Is it the culture or a unique marketing tactic to get rid of some extra "s%$#" deposited by local birds?

"All Japanese mothers tell their daughters to become white. I would have vitamin C tablet every day, and she told me not to go out in the sun. She told me about nightingale droppings too, but I didn't use it. Then, many, many years later, I thought about what my mom said."

Apparently, the white stuff that inadvertently lands on your freshly cleaned car isn't so horrible after all and according to the article, even other cultures dug deep in the organs or the nether regions to find beautifying fluids and pastes:

Ever since ancient Egyptians mixed unguents of bile of steer, ostrich eggs and resin, people have slathered on everything from the odd to the oogy. Plenty of other unusual ingredients - in addition to avian excrement - are thought to have beautifying properties.

Snake venom: From face creams to lip products, beauty companies swear the stuff reduces wrinkles and has a plumping effect.

Kitty litter: The grainy texture works as an exfoliator. Yeah, yeah - just put the idea away for when the recession really hits.

Placenta: Dogs eat it. Hospitals save it. And some women use it to soften their hair and skin.

So move over all you beauty regimes on drugstore shelves and department store kiosks claiming youth and glowing skin. I'm kicking the cat of the litter box, raiding farmer John's cattle ranch after they have a bout of stomach flu and will lay face up under the bird feeder for the freshest chance at the fountain of youth!

Good luck to the rest of you and those science tested products.