Bacon Dogs Outlawed in LA

The Department of Public Health in Los Angelas has recently banned the selling of bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Ah, the sweet, salty, taste of health regulation.

This is not the first time in human history that we have produced horrendously unhealthy artery-clogging food. Take, for instance, the production of deep-fried Oreos and deep-fried Coke. This is, however, amongst the first times that the selling of such a product has been banned. L.A. must be a very peaceful place with no violent crimes -- like rape, murder, and robbery -- for the police to be focusing on the illegal selling of bacon. They must have taken care of that high murder rate and gang violence. So what is the justification for this newly prompted War on Bacon where cops raid privately owned street carts and throw them into the garbage? “Bacon is a potentially hazardous food,” says Terrence Powell of the LA County Health Department. Potentially hazardous? Every food has its hazards. Even some salads have cherry tomatoes that could possibly be choked on. When asked how many people were getting sick from bacon, Powell responded, "Thats kind of a nebulous number." Translation: There are no statistics on this, but we think bacon is bad for you. Vendors can continue to sell the bacon-wrapped dogs, however, as long as they purchase a new street cart at the cost of $26,000. That is a huge investment for a small street vending business. But, alas, if they do not purchase the cart then they are not allowed to sell bacon, which is a huge item in the street vending business. One such vendor has said that when she informs the customers that she cannot sell bacon most will immediately leave and go to one of the stands that are permitted to sell the illicit substance. So what recourse is there for the small-time vendors that cannot afford the new equipment? It looks like they will be forced to continue the black market bacon trade until they too are caught in the tangled web of the War on Bacon.