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Op-Ed: Parapraxis (Or, Ted Turner's Tongue Slips Out)

By Brant David McLaughlin     Apr 3, 2008 in World
“We have global warming, because too many people are using too much stuff. If there were less people, they'd be using less stuff."
Never mind that scientists like Freeman Dyson feel that the current global warming trend (which isn’t even global and may have already halted or gone into reverse, among other complexities) could well be beneficial to human beings by engendering a somewhat warmer, wetter world with more arable land.
Never mind that a group of hundreds “dissident” scientists, economists, and other involved movers and shakers recently gathered in New York to present their evidence against Al Gore’s AGW (anthropocentric or man-made global warming), with participating environmental scientist S. Fred Singer saying, "What we can now exclude by scientific evidence is the argument that greenhouse gases are an important factor in causing global warming."
Never mind that even the Al Gore and IPCC cronies, including their button-sorter-and-bottle-washer scientists, say that we’ve got about a hundred years to get things sorted out about all this AGW mess (provided, needless to say, that we give lots of money and pay lots of taxes to Gore-motivated governments and bureaucracies).
Restaurant owner and Lefty news network owner Ted Turner knows that it’s so much more dire than all of that.
The founder of the United Nations Foundation told PBS the other night, "Civilization will have broken down [by the year 2040]. The few people left will be living in a failed state like Somalia or the Sudan."
At first, Turner's tongue slipped him into a parapraxis, as he stated that, without immediate and radical mass action, this would all come to pass before the year 2020, "in ten years", but then, realizing that he would probably still be alive to be told how stupid he is in 2018 or 2019, he quickly extruded the forthcoming apocalypse out sometime between the year 2030 and 2040 (allowing for rounding-off).
"We'll be eight degrees hotter in 10, not 10 but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals."
What was all that talk a while ago about six degrees of separation? Turner makes it clear that it’s eight degrees of separation, just eight degrees of separation between flourishing, post-little Ice Age crops and a near-planetwide desert, the Earth turned into Dune.
But…all is not lost because Ted knows just what we need to do (By “we”, I suspect that he means “the government”, like just about everyone who ways “we should”, “we need to”, etc, really means. But I digress.).
We just need to get rid of a whole lot of people.
“We have global warming, because too many people are using too much stuff. If there were less people, they'd be using less stuff," Turner declared.
Turner’s recommended cure for the true cause of global warming would be hysterical…were it not so eerily, hauntingly, frighteningly familiar.
More about Ted turner, Global warming, Population