Op-Ed: Yahoo's tough choices and tougher problems

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Those will continue to be the problems regardless of Microsoft, Disneyland, or anyone else getting involved in Yahoo.

The New York Times has a maddeningly non-specific article, detailing the recent history of Yahoo, the appointment of founder Jerry Yang as CEO… and drips with references, rather than details, to things which would be of great interest to Wall Street, Microsoft, and the public.

It’s a really nicely written bit of non-information, on a whole range of subjects.

The story is quite non-straightforward. Yahoo has hit a wall or so, Yang is trying to reshape the company and get it moving forward, and the stock price has been a thermometer, with the patient’s temperature dropping. The lower price has Microsoft interested, and Granny’s House probably isn’t the safest place to be for an internet company intending not to be eaten up by the Big Bad Wolf.

Enter the NYT non-information:

“Last June, Yahoo investors became increasingly disenchanted with (former CEO) Mr. Semel, as Yahoo struggled to compete with Google in the online search business and faced growing threats from successful social networks like MySpace and Facebook.

Mr. Semel resigned and Mr. Yang was unexpectedly thrust into the chief executive job. He inherited a long list of problems, including a demoralized work force and a company that had grown bureaucratic and cluttered with too many projects.”

Translated from the original stone tablets:

“Disenchanted” means “train wreck”.

“Struggled to compete” means “sank like a stone”.

“Growing threats” means “fait accomplis, with Yahoo left standing”.

“Unexpectedly thrust” means nobody else was around.

“Bureaucratic” means top heavy, overpriced administration.

“Too many projects” means a dog’s breakfast of things with a potentially large and equally messy amount of big outlays.

In terms of market valuations, that potentially adds up to the original bottomless pit, depending on what the numbers are.

Yang doesn’t have an easy job here. He cares about his company, and if the scenario is bleak enough, he’s in roughly the position of someone who may have to shoot the family dog.

Non-information, Part Two:

“Mr. Yang and Yahoo’s president, Susan L. Decker, also moved quickly to hash out a strategy. The two thought that Yahoo’s business plan was basically sound but that the company needed to be better managed and had to get out of some businesses that were not vital to its future. They reorganized to make business units more accountable, and they made some acquisitions to build Yahoo’s advertising and e-mail technology.”

“Better managed” = managed properly, preferably by a human.

“Businesses not vital to its future” = turkeys, dead ones.

“Make business units more accountable” = “Our auditor is a rubber duck, our Board of Directors is a synonym for warm and fuzzy, and nobody knows how to fire people, get costs down, or generate new business.”

Again, no specifics, no numbers, no “Oh My Gods”.

If this NYT article were a menu, you wouldn’t even know you were in a restaurant. It really is very well done, and it’s a really nice way to handle a chainsaw massacre.

Non-information, Part Three:

“Some analysts said the only move that could have averted Microsoft’s bid was for Yahoo to outsource its search advertising business to Google — something the company is now considering.

Jordan Rohan, an analyst with RBC Capital Markets, noted that this decision would have required Mr. Yang to admit defeat in a critical area. “It would also have required a sense of urgency that Jerry has not necessarily shown,” he said.”

“Outsource to Google” = convert to another religion for financial reasons, or maybe spiritual reasons if Microsoft’s offer is that repulsive.

“Admit defeat” = pejorative description of what might be the only working option.

“Sense of urgency” = something the market could have cashed in on sooner.

And of course there’s room for Ye Olde Traditional Executive Bitching Session:

““We are still trying to do too many things, and fund them in a way that we need to in order to win,” said a senior executive who has grown disillusioned with Mr. Yang. “With the stock at $24 or $25, we’d be having a very different conversation now. But there were decisions made that were naïve that have left us in a position where we can’t control our destiny.””

Meaning that some executives at Yahoo apparently consider themselves authoritative spectators at this point.

Sort of begs the question of what people in that position have been doing themselves in the post-Google years.

The answer to Yahoo’s problems is “Do good business, and ditch anything and anyone that isn’t paying its way.”

Because nothing else is going to mean a damn thing.