Op-Ed: FCC-Style Regulations Coming To A Bar Near You

Lawmaking bureaucrats in a St. Louis area town are considering passing a bill that will ban swearing in bars. Bureaucrat Richard Velt proposed the bill after hearing complaints about bad bar behavior.

The law would also ban table dancing, drinking contests and profane music. Presumably, ground-level dancing will still be allowed which leads me to wonder why a dancers elevation makes a difference in the eyes of the state. Maybe table dancing is more dangerous because the distance to the ground is larger making a fall more likely to cause injury. At least the government is there to protect them now. MSNBC reports:

The proposal would ban indecent, profane or obscene language, songs, entertainment and literature at bars.

It looks like the jukeboxes and playlists of many bars are going to need some revamping. Plenty of the songs played in bars have lyrics that someone will find undoubtedly "indecent, profane or obscene." And that is the problem with this law: it is subject to interpretation. If someone finds your words to be offensive you could be subject to punishment. So much for free speech on private property. I also wonder how such a law would be enforced. Are we now going to have undercover police officers scouring bars for profane language, table dancing and offensive music? Would they be more useful to the public if they were out looking for real criminals? It looks like those who want to use profane language will just have to step outside, but then again, shouldn't the smokers also have the right not to be offended?