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Cat tales: Revenge Of The Furry Things or How To Put Humanity Into Perspective

By Paul Wallis     Aug 18, 2007 in Lifestyle
Cats have their own ideas about how to handle living with humans. Must be tough on a cat, having to put up with Homo Sap. However, it seems that even humans have their uses. Here we see some Chinese cats with a few tips.
Xinhua, in a moment of what must have been divine inspiration, has discovered that cats are extremely good mimics. Taking some of the yellow ammonia compound out of humans seems to be a highly developed art. Ever seen a cat wink before?
The equation seems to be that if you’re that cute, and furry, you can get away with it. The little ginger guy in the photos probably owns Shanghai on the photo rights by now.
Consider this article an excuse for Tales From The Furry Beyond. I got a good introduction to the feline sense of humor some years ago, from our neighbors’ Bolognese-addicted, pizza-pirating, furball comedienne.
The first instance was of this four legged feline Harpo Marx was one day when I came home from work. She strolled in, as the my mother, The Iron Koala, and I were having afternoon tea. The cat surveyed the scene, and stalked over to me. She then pounced, and started tickling my foot. I was trying to figure out some way of either getting her off the foot, or escaping, while laughing like a demented drain.
The Iron Koala laughed herself into a suspicious lack of effort to assist. Eventually, the cat decided to let up, and leaped on to my lap, purring. I discovered that this purr meant “Gotcha!” Thus began several years of a very interesting relationship, in which I learned that cats like completely destroying any notion you might ever have had about cats.
This one even learned how to say the word “cat”. She’d heard it often enough from me and from the neighbor. So one day, while trying to explain to me that the garlic and parsley sausage I was holding was in fact hers, she rasped, “Khhaaaat… Khhaaaat,” and there was no doubt whatsoever what she was talking about.
Cats know what they’re doing. Ever see a cat commuting, or working some drudge job? In ancient Egypt, the first thing they did was to get themselves worshiped, and then they put the local stoats out of business as the rodent catchers of civilization as they began their world conquest.
I am definitely a cat addict. Even kittens seem to know that. A stray with a sore leg spotted me in the street the other day, and came hopping over.
I even wrote a book in which a Scottish wildcat is pressed into service for my characters’ search for Ultimate Comfort. This was based on my observation that all you have to do is watch where a cat goes in a room to find the most comfortable spot in the place.
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