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Op-Ed: Gross Out Fest, Share Your Stories

By Laura Trowbridge     Jul 12, 2007 in Entertainment
How many of us have had something really, really gross happen in our lives? Probably most people have a story or two or three. I decided to write this piece after something happened in my bathroom recently.
No, no, it's not anything like what you're thinking after my writing that "in my bathroom" part! LOL
Hmmmmm, although, I could tell you a poopy bathroom story, come to think of it........
Like many years ago my very young, innocent neice told me her mother took a crap so big it wouldn't go down the toilet and she finally had to get a knife to cut the gigantic poop up so it could be flushed away!
Okay, that was not my intention to write about that one - it just slipped out! Sorry!
My personal bathroom experience has to do with a spider. Now all my friends know how I hate, hate, HATE spiders! We have a home with three doorwalls opening onto the lakeside of our house, but we cannot ever open them because I'm petrified a spider may slip inside the house! I have become brave enough in recent times that I can actually kill these nightmare creatures with a shoe instead of trapping them under a glass to await my husband coming home to kill them for me.
One morning I was going into my bathroom when I saw a HUGE spider on the floor between the tub and my makeup table. Although my stomach dropped down to my toes and I felt the bile rise to my throat, I bravely decided to actually grab a tissue to squish this beast with.
Obviously, I quickly saw I had not used enough pressure to kill her because she crawled out from under the kleenex. How do I know she was a "she"? Because she left an enormous mound of teeny, tiny babies behind!
I must have pressed just hard enough for the mother of all things gruesome to have given birth right then!
As I watched in horror this mound of nightmarish youngsters start moving around, I went berserk and started a killing frenzy. There had to have been HUNDREDS of these tiny creatures and I was determined to not allow any to live to torment me another day! Mom died a gruesome death as well. Let all spiders beware - stay out of my house!
Another gross story, but sad as well, was about a squirrel. I know I have mentioned this before on DJ, but not everyone has seen my comments. This was a squirrel that got run over in the road, but did not die. When I saw it, I was horrified to witness its head was up and looking around while its lower body was squashed and useless. I will never forget the sheer horror I felt and that image of the poor little animal will always be burned in my brain.
Okay, your turn. Can you top these?
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