Neuticles: Testicular Implants for Dogs Who Really Need a Pair

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"The things I do to spoil Winston, you'd think I was nuts, no pun intended," Miller says from his home in Oak Grove, Mo. "But it's become our culture to accept emasculation of our pets as normal. Turning our pets into little eunuchs has become acceptable.

"(I) say: 'Yes, neuter your dog, but he can still retain . . . his natural look.' If anyone thinks that's odd, think about it - I think it's odd that you'd want to turn your dog into a eunuch."

Miller insists that when a pet's package is removed that they can suffer from low self esteem. The same he goes on applies to cats, bulls and horses. Although some may make fun of the implants and say they are not natural he counters with how natural is it for the animal to go to the vet to have their family jewels removed.

Since Miller and his vet manufactured the implants 13 years ago 225,000 animals have been fitted with the fake equipment.

Vets at the Morningside Animal Clinic in east-end Toronto implanted Neuticles in a pit bull terrier, says the clinic's Dr. Carl Porter.

"People tend to like the appearance of an intact dog in some of those breeds," Porter says. "We put one set in, but . . . we don't get requests for it very often. It's a little different."

Miller started planning the implants fourteen years ago when his beloved Buck ran away. He was found four days later wandering the countryside, something that unneutered animals are prone to do.


"I had hesitated to neuter up until that point because his little thingies back there were a dominant feature of his personality," Miller remembers of the late Buck, who died in 2001.

"I asked my vet: 'Don't they make some kind of implant so Buck can look the same?' And the vet looked at me and said: 'I've been a vet for 45 years and that's the craziest thing I've ever heard.' So I just thought I was a neurotic pet-owner."

"This isn't for everyone," Miller concedes. "It's for extreme pet-owners, people like me who spoil and pamper their animals. I grieved more when Buck the bloodhound died than when my own mother died, and that's the God's honest truth."

While most of the fake testicles make their way onto dogs Miller does get orders for feline pets. He has also recently sent out a "big" order - five-and-a-half-inchers for a stallion who was feeling less than manly.