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OP/ED: Life - It's all about the choices

By Pamela Jean     Jul 2, 2007 in Lifestyle
I'm struggling today. It's all about the choices. And looking back, I've made far too many wrong ones. Looking forward, the myriad of choices is overwhelming, and I'm not sure I have the ability to make them anymore. I don't want to have to decide.
I'm tired today. Tired of life. Tired of having to think, decide what to do, where to go, how to be. I just want to stop doing it. I don't want to have to make choices anymore.
After all, what is life anyway, other than choices? You choose to stay, or you choose to go. You choose to be happy, or you choose to be sad. You choose to love, or you choose to hate. The list is endless, and never ending. It is tiring, and I am tired.
I look back and see all of the choices I've made so far. They say hindsight is 20/20, and I would have to agree. I can see clearly the choices I've made and the outcome those choices have resulted in. So many choices, so many wrong ones. Too many. I want a do over. I want to change my choice, pick another door. I want another chance to choose right this time.
I envy those around me that seem to have an innate ability to choose right. Their choices resulted in happy homes, successful careers, remarkable legacies to leave their young. They made good choices, solid choices, sound and sensible choices. They didn't let their hearts lead them, they used their minds, they thought things through, they weighed the pros and cons and then made a choice - a wise one.
I chose wrong. I didn't see it coming. I didn't lift my head, peer out into the future, think about the road ahead. No, I just made a choice, and made choices over and over again that were not sound, were not well planned, were from the heart - not the head.
So, here I sit. More choices. I can't choose. I'm tired. I want someone else to steer this ship. You decide. I can't anymore. I'm overwhelmed. I'm an overwhelmed underachiever. A poor chooser.
So, do I post this pointless diatribe? Another choice. Post or don't post. I can't decide. I'm tired of all the choices.
Neither choice seems right. But, really what does it matter. Just pick one.
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