Brothers, The UK Citizen Revolution Is Here, So Let's All Take The Day Off

We work too hard as it is in the UK - we have very few national holidays, so why not have another one? After all, a day off may just solve world peace

Seniors amongst the very wealthiest of our British MP's have been probing at a newer topic of conversation over tea and crumpets in the staff canteen at the Houses of P. It is over another bank holiday. It could be just another excuse for the great British weather to cast gloom and heavy showers over the nation for one more day of the year, but MP's have an alternative idea up their prestigious sleeves - a day when we can all join hands and skip around pretending that the world is a nicer place. Or something like that, however, the day will be, as it will be known to us peasants, a day to "reinforce citizenship and prevent communities becoming more divided." In other words, a day when we can hold village fetes so long as we don't offend any section of the community with the event known as "May Pole Dancing." Former Health Service siren and now Communities Secretary, Ruth Kelly has teamed up with the logical mind of immigration minister Liam Byrne and come up with the brain wave which will cure all known problems between cultural differences in the UK. We are apparently about to go through a "citizenship revolution." A day off, according to Bonnie and Clyde, will give back the sense of realistic comradeship within the British Isles and will also promote a stronger feel for the values that are essentially British. What exactly this is supposed to mean, even to a Brit, I am not sure. Yet isn't this the very essence of why communities clash in many parts of the UK, because we don't have an understanding of values? We find it hard to communicate each other and what our own communities represent, not in just a religious term but in our daily existences. I hardly think another dreary bank holiday when all we can think of doing is traipsing round garden centres like a herd of sheep, will cure our British ills. Yet, now is not the time to pessimistic. According to the Fabian Society pamphlet, the commandments have been set out as follows:

"1) A new system of 'earned citizenship' with a clearer points-based path for newcomers to earn the privileges of settling in Britain;

2) Incentives for active citizens, such as cash top-ups linked to the Child Trust Fund or reduced tuition fees;

3) Local "good neighbour contracts" for all newcomers, explaining the rights and responsibilities of living in the UK."

What Ms Kelly and Mr Byrne would really like to do is reverse the social and cultural differences which have grown thick and strong over the last forty years. However, it will take a good deal more than just a day off to cure our dividing diversities.