Psychics May Soon Have to Pass a Test to Practice, But They Already Knew That

Real Estate agents have to pass a test in order to get a license. Teachers have to pass an accreditation exam in order to teach. Pretty soon, Salem psychics may have to pass a test in order to tell fortunes. How will they practice?

The city council of Salem, MA are hoping to crack down on fraudulent fortunetellers. So they're trying to figure out exactly how a psychic can become licensed to set up shop in the Witch City. Local psychics want the city managers to go a step further and make sure they're actually qualified to predict the future.

"It's become a free-for-all," said Laurie Cabot, the heavily-mascaraed official witch of Salem. "Anyone who says they're psychic can come into the city. We don't even know where they come from. We don't know their qualifications."

At a recent meeting lasting more than three hours, city councilors listened to two dozen witches and psychics as they explained the tools of their trade. Barbara Szafranski owns Angelica of the Angels. She said, "There has to be criteria or you're going to get garbage coming here. She added, "Everybody here is a legitimate person who's worked for years and years. ... When you do a reading, you hold a person's life right in your hands. We have people come to us who are willing to commit suicide, who won't go to a psychiatrist, so they come to us." One suggestion is to deny licenses to anyone under the age of 20. The psychics "feel" that young people don't have the life experience to be legitimate readers. Cabot became the first person in Salem to be granted a fortunteller's license a few decades ago. She states that she had to perform a legitimate reading in front of a police officer.

"He sat down with me, I did a psychic reading, he was pleased with the reading, and I got my license," Cabot said.

She added:

"There are nuts out there"

The city began to investigate the issue of psychic licenses almost a year ago, mainly to prevent those nuts, i.e. fraudulent fortunetellers, from ripping off consumers by demanding lucrative payments in return for lifting a curse or removing a "black cloud." Szafranski said she knows of one woman who paid more than $2,000 for readings at a Salem shop. The woman was told she had a "black aura" around her.

"Then one day she came into my shop crying," Szafranski told city councilors. "I said, 'You don't have a black aura. Sit down and I'll show you your aura on my machine.' And it was blue and wonderful."

An aura machine. Yes, indeed. There are nuts out there. And most of them can't fill in the blanks in the following sentences: A ____ and his____ are soon parted. There's a ____ born every minute. I wish them luck. It's damn hard to save idiots from themselves.