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OP/ED One DJ User’s Nightmare Withdrawal From 'Digitaljournalitis'

article:172166:22::0
By Carolyn E. Price     Apr 27, 2007 in
Diary of a mad woman?
It all started early Friday morning after watching the Daily Show/Colbert Report this digital journal junkie thought she'd check in, one last time for the night, and see what was going on in DJ land. However, the homepage wouldn't load up. "Nothing new" I thought to myself, "this has happened before. They're probably running a diagnostic or something like that."
Day 1 without Digital Journal -- Friday morning, it was beautiful day outside so I decided to take advantage of it to the fullest and for the first time in months, I didn’t even look at my computer -- all day. However, around 5 that afternoon the fingers started to get itchy and the brain was wondering just what exactly had gone on in the world so when I checked Digital Journal again, there it was, the dreaded "We are experiencing Technical Problems"”message.
"What was going on?" I wondered. So, I e-mailed the wolfman because if anyone knew what was going on, he would. Sure enough, the wolf replied in no time flat letting me know that the situation was pretty dire and the 'boys' at DJ were working feverishly on a fix. However, I realized that even the wolf was being adversely affected by lack of DJ because somehow he mistook me for Picasso and called me "Mom".
Days 2-3 without Digital Journal -- Saturday and Sunday were a snap as far as not using the computer because I just headed up north to enjoy the 23+ degree Celsius weather and left the computer, laptop, cell phone, basically all electronic gear at home. What a glorious couple of days. Sunday night, driving home once again the fingers started to itch so to distract me from it, I got out the knitting.
Night 3 without Digital Journal -- Sunday night I got home from the cottage and lo and behold, DJ was still down. At this point, I've noticed that I was developing a twitch in my right hand and a nervous tic in my right eyebrow. By the end of the evening, I'd finished a sweater started over a month ago, and was starting in on another one.
Day 4 without Digital Journal -- It's a Monday, and as everyone knows, "I don't like Mondays". This one was made even worse when once again I checked my computer and found that DJ was still down, the eyebrow was still twitching, fingers still itching. It's been over 80 hours and my brain is starting to hurt! Badly! But look, there was a notice from DJ staff, with pictures! A picture of the boys trying to look exhausted and yet somehow, Chris ends up looking like a little boy gangster and Alex looking 'tres cas', all while showing off some leg for the ladies. Yes, typical male thing, try to distract them from the godawful truthiness that we are all going insane without our digital journal fix ... quick, take some deep breathes ... trying to stay calm.
Monday pm -- I've been outside most of the day and I've come to the realization that I just cannot sit there and watch another beautiful red cardinal peck away at the grass seed that I tossed around the back yard this morning. Digital Journal is still down, going on 96 hours without a fix and my fingers are starting to curve in from all the knitting I've been doing, the house has been cleaned from top to bottom, I've got a sunburn and now, one whole side of my body is twitching. Procu'boy and were'boar had better get it together soon or this bat is going to get them. *Splat*
Day 5 without Digital Journal -- These are excerpts from gohomelakers doctor's notes taken the morning of Tuesday, April 24, 2007. "Patient arrived in office this morning suffering from a nervous twitch that is affecting the entire right side of her body ... patient says that she is suffering from something called “digitaljournalistis”... have tried to locate this obscure condition in various medical journals to no avail ... thinking perhaps patient needs intensive therapy but gentle suggestions of a hospital stay are met with resistance and hostility ... patient insisting that all she needs is to do is see a good headline from 'Scoop', read seagull's (sic) latest deluge of posts and see what the wolfman, that silly little bot-boy, the were'turtle, that sexy jaguar, Picasso/Mom and all the rest of the gang are up to? ... patient is obviously having a psychotic episode/break from reality of some sort ... in the meantime, have written patient a prescription for lorazepam and will contact her family to ensure they closely monitor her condition and recommend to them an intensive therapy session that would require hospitalization. Note to file: 5:00 pm, spoke to patient's son, apparently, episode is over and patient is happily pounding away at her keyboard. Have told patients son to monitor situation closely. Now, I'm off to research this "digitaljournalistis'."
article:172166:22::0
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