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Broken News: Tragic Attack Hospitalizes Easter Bunny!

By Bob Norman     Apr 7, 2007 in Entertainment
Revenge seeking chickens leave Peter Cottontail in critical condition!
Sadness gripped the land tonight as a brutal attack has left the beloved Easter Bunny in severely critical condition.
Just after five this evening the news broke that Mr. P Cottontail, AKA the Easter Bunny, had been left broken and bleeding just outside of his residence at 3 Bunny Trail Lane. Onlookers say the rabbit had been hopping along, minding his own business, when he was jumped by a mob of roosters looking for revenge.
"Damn rabbit keeps stealing our unborn children," said one rooster who had come all the way from Rhode Island to participate in the attack. "Our hens are terrified at this time of year. How'd you like it if some fuzzy psychopath kept stealing your children so he could boil and dye them?"
Records indicate that Mr Cottontail may have been carrying out this Ovacide for decades. The shattered remains of numerous poultry children were found alongside a pot of boiling water in his kitchen. The mind reels at the atrocities that may have been committed there.
One witness says as many as nine roosters may have participated in the beat down. Asking not to be identified she said,"They were pecking and scratching him like he was barnyard cornmeal. After what he's done to the Fowl race I think it was justified!"
The status of tomorrows holiday is currently on hold while a replacement for the bunny is sought. Rumors abound that both Bugs Bunny and Roger Rabbit have been contacted but, that can't be confirmed.
Officials at the scene say no charges have yet been filed, pending further investigation.
Happy Easter Digital Journal!
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