A "Purity Ball" is an event held by fathers for their daughters. They are fancy affairs, with the girls dressed in formal attire. The young women sign pledges to remain virgins until marriage. So, why is the media so upset?
The first "Purity Ball" was held in 1998 by the founders of Generations of Light, a popular Christian ministry in Colorado Springs.
“We wanted to set a standard of dignity and honor for the way the girls should be treated by the men in their lives,” says Lisa, a warm, exuberant woman with a ready smile and seven children, ages 4 to 22. Lisa’s own father left her family when she was two, and despite a kind stepfather, she says, she grew up not feeling valued or understood. “Looking back, it’s a miracle I remained pure,” she says. “I believe if girls feel beautiful and cherished by their fathers, they don’t go looking for love from random guys.”
The movement’s latest mission is to make abstinence cool (it’s been called “chastity chic”).
I find the whole idea wonderful. That is how it was intended since the beginning."Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
The act of intercourse actually meant something once. It wasn't just recreational. It wasn't just "something to do" if you like a guy. So, I ask you, what is wrong with encouraging a young woman to maintain her purity until marriage?
Apparently, there seems to be a major problem with this concept among the media. The link I provided is to Glamour Magazine, popular with the 15-24 age group. This is just one of many, many reports I have read and watched on television over the past few weeks. As the "Purity Movement" continues to swell, so does the press coverage railing against it.
The Glamour Magazine article is written in a fashion as to denounce the whole concept of encouraging women to remain virgins until marriage. It quotes many so called "experts" in the field of psychology and health. The general consensus being that these girls are being set up for failure. That the ability to remain a virgin until marriage is unrealistic and emotionally and psychologically unhealthy. That the studies conducted, by groups I have never heard of, indicate that the girls that take the "purity pledge" are twice as likely to end up with STD's because they won't use condoms when they first have sex. Apparently these "pure" young women will eventually be
swept up in the moment and not plan correctly for their first sexual experience. Basically indicating that the women whom have not pledged "purity"
plan to have sex, and always carry and use condoms.
The article goes on to indicate there is something intrinsically
weird about dressing up in a ballgown and dancing with your dad. That girls feel uncomfortable being so close to dad, and are embarrassed discussing such personal matters with their fathers. The article states that when the writer attended a ball, she felt the fathers seemed uncomfortable themselves, or if not uncomfortable, that the father/daughter couples seemed too close, somehow strange, basically inferring that maybe there was something
not quite right going on.
Well, I ask, what is wrong with a father expressing his care and concern for his daughter? Telling her she is beautiful and valued and that she is a gift that he will eventually bestow upon a worthy young man? What is wrong with instilling a sense of morality and decency in a daughter, and making it clear to her, in front of family and friends, that dad will be there for her, will protect her and watch over her?
The Glamour writer concludes in her 7 page article, throughout which she basically discourages and insults the concept of the "Purity Ball" as follows:
I deeply wish that the lovely things I have seen tonight—the delighted young women, the caring, doting dads—might evolve into father-daughter events not tied to exhorting a promise from a girl that may hang over her head as she struggles to become a woman. When Lauren Wilson hit adolescence, her father gave her a purity ring and a charm necklace with a tiny lock and key. Randy Wilson took the key, which he will hand over to her husband on their wedding day. The image of a locked area behind which a girl stores all of her messy desires until one day a man comes along with the key haunts me. By the end of the ball, as I watch fathers carrying out sleepy little girls with drooping tiaras and enveloping older girls with wraps, I want to take every one of those girls aside and whisper to them the real secret of womanhood: The key to any treasure you’ve got is held by one person—you.
I ask you again, what is wrong with this? In my eyes - not a thing.
