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Valentine's Day: do you still love me?

By Viga Boland     Feb 10, 2007 in Lifestyle
Valentine's Day is just around the corner. You run out to buy a card, flowers, chocolates or jewellry or whatever for your sweetie. But you can't blame others who think Valentine's is much ado about nothing.
And I'm not talking about the fact that it's just another day, like Christmas, Easter etc., where the card sellers make a killing. (It's that too of course!)
What I'm talking about is the current state of "love" around the world. Can one really call what goes on in Hollywood "love"? Today the superstar is madly 'in love' with this guy and tomorrow he's been ditched for someone else. Or they get married in May and divorced in December (if they last that long).
And it's not just Hollywood. Today, more than ever, there are more single moms and women opting to remain single both before and after a divorce. And if you think it's only the younger, modern generation that has no real understanding of what love is anymore, check this out:
"Youth and beauty can't buy you love? Then how about lifelong devotion? Sorry. According to a recent Maclean's magazine story, the rate of divorce for those 55 to 59 has almost doubled in recent years, is up by a third for those 60 to 64, and by almost 10 per cent for those 65 and older. And that's from the generation that espoused making love, not war."
What's happened to LOVE? Supposedly it's all we need. Well tell that to Lisa Nowak, Carla Homolka and the countless others who kill or threat to kill in the name of love.
Then there's this juicy bit about one of our Canadian lawyers:
"Try this one: last week Ottawa lawyer, George Hunter, 59 -- a husband and father of two and former treasurer of the Law Society of Upper Canada -- was suspended for two months from practising law, for having an affair with a client while representing her in a custody case. You might think his wife is the woman scorned, but in this case she's not alone -- by a long shot. While pressuring his lover to sign a form saying their romantic relationship had not affected his professional one -- did I mention one of his law specialties is in "professional negligence and discipline"? -- Hunter informed her that not only was he cheating on his wife, but he was also cheating on her with two other clients at the same time."
Seems like George needed a lot more than love to fulfill the promise of the song "love will keep us together".
So what's going on here? Has love changed? Does love mean something else today than it did yesterday? Or is all this cheating coming from another place I've often thought about:
Many years ago, our life spans were much shorter. Women's bodies were, and still are, sexually mature and ready to have children by 12, 13. So girls married young...way back when. But people also didn't live as long as we do today. They were dead by 30 or 40 ie. you weren't bound to one person for nearly as many years. Now we're living into our 80's and 90's. Gosh that's a long time with one person if you marry at 20, or even 25!
On top of that, women back then didn't go out to work: their jobs were at home. They didn't get to meet other charming men nearly as easily as we can today. And on the converse side, their husbands weren't exposed to so many tempting women.
So it looks like love in its simplest form is being eroded by much more than just the media, Hollywood and lowered moral standards. It's being worn down by lots of years with just one person. It takes a mighty strong love to stick it out for 50 + years, or even 30. And sometimes, like when you hit my age, it's just too much trouble to be bothered looking elsewhere and starting all over again.
My hubby may no longer be the most exciting chocolate in the box, but he still tastes good. And I can always rely on quality with him...and I'm not talking sex here. Just a good mate.
Time to go buy that Valentine's Day card...
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